Just had a short worship time. The presence of God is so thick, so tangible.

The God I Know

When the stage is bare tonight, there’s no one else, just You and me.

When the curtains close behind, there’s no pretence, I’m on my knees.

Just a couple of hours till I enlist, God as a 15yr old I loved Your presence and lingered around anywhere I could feel You. Just to let You know again, I’m still the same after 5years, God send me to where Your presence goes.

I may have been out of focus some time, I may have no talents nor skills. But God, place in me tenacity and steel. That I may run in a way that I’ll win the race.

None but You. A word and I will follow.

I’m convicted about this.

It’s been 5years in my walk w God. :) I can’t help but be amazed by how God changed a 15yr old brat into who I am now.

People say that It’s the blessings that counts. But to me, it’s more of the scars, the valleys that counts. I’m blessed with many things in life, great CG in church, great bunch of buddies who have been with me thru sweat and tears, great leaders who tirelessly disciple me and God who’ve always been alongside me thru all my difficulties and celebrations.

But I especially am eternally grateful to Ps How and Ps Lia. I’ve been blessed so much by them in my life, when I was younger, they blessed me financially so that I’ll be able to travel to church and eat proper meals because they knew I don’t come from a well to do family. When my parents were on the verge of breaking apart, Psts despite their busy schedule, took time to sit me down and find out about the situation, assured me that from my generation onwards, everything will be different.

When I wanted to serve in church, they gave me the opportunity to serve on staff despite I was blur and didn’t have any talents.

When my dad passed away, Pastors kept me in their thoughts even though they themselves were so tired after settling Ps how’ dads funeral.

When I had major PO and curfew, allowed me to work in their business just so that I could see church people and so that I won’t feel so sad being unable to be physically in church.

Pastors have braved the storm for me, for us. They have broke open a path for us to follow.

I was a 15year old but they believed in me. Now that I’m 20yrs old, I’m ready to step up to help carry this burden. I may not be called to conquer and break grounds, but I’ll become a pillar that will sustain and hold this fort.

Thank you Pastors for all your love and faith in me. All the days of my life, I’ll be right behind!

Wow, amazing day!

Really really blessed by what Ps Tan preached today. I feel like I’ve gone thru one of the trials in my life, triumphant. I know I’ve probably not been the best of myself thru the entire 9months, but at least I know I’m much stronger and I’ve grown a lot more.

Now when I read Job, I’ll have a different light. Not about the trials, not about the double portion of reward at the end. But about having persevered through and seeing God’s mercy and faithfulness to me.

How true, trials will never be trials if you know when it’s gonna end.

Well well. I’m really a happy man now! Curfew has finally ended. I really can’t describe how excited I am.  If a stubborn man like me could’ve made it through 9months of curfew, YOU can do so much better in any trial that you might face.

Well, I’ve took my first step out of my comfort zone, starting to love people a little more, and starting to be more interested in others.

No longer as self-centered, still working on it!

When I look back, reading back about all the things that I wrote down on my notebook about my dreams and visions. Many of them have probably dwindled, and some are almost beyond reach. But frankly speaking, the Minghan that we all know 9months ago, would’ve been feeling lost and frantic about this situation. But right now, I really feel so much more secured in my thinking. I know in everything there is a plan and purpose.

Yes, I know paths have crossed and people brushed shoulders to shoulders for short instances. I am still walking down the same path, and will see you at the finishing line then. I’m hopeless, I might still be stupid and waiting for that same opportunity again.

Well. In all things, give praise to God. I’ve got nothing to offer up but myself. Almost everything is REALLY given and provided by God.

Feed me daily, with more hunger. This is my only prayer now.

If things could rewind, I would’ve still chose to not avoid this. Out of this whole 9months, I’ve grown myself more. Know myself better now.

Sometimes looking back at things, it gives you a nostalgic feeling, but I’d rather wait for a second shot and then, give it my best. Than to stand there and wait for things to happen already.

Well, I’m really excited about my CG, A-levels will be over soon. Cool part is that almost 1/2 the guys in my CG will be going into army together next year.

Hahaha. Sometimes, when i think back about everything that happened, I wonder how did I even ended up there. In the heat of it, it feels normal. But when now I’m out of it, looking back I realised that I was really still a kid back then. Gonna grow up and become a better man, child-like faith, not being childlike.

Well well. Come what may. Things, people, titles may come and go. But one thing I know for sure. My God is good and faithful, and that’s what i’m going to be like too.

Well! I’m REALLY counting down to november! I think i’ve been always repeating the point that when it hits november, I’ll be even happier that ‘IF’ I were to ORD, ROD, POP on the same day. Great, gonna build up a good momentum from now. I’m going to start running, have been ‘benched’ for so many months.

Ahh, I LOST MY WALLET. Such a heartache. To think that an empty wallet with only a ATM card and my IC could get lost too.. there goes $100 for the replacement..

Well, there’s this thing that I remember during total defence or national day in schools we have to say, something about ‘we have no rights, we have no say..’ I really feel like telling my mum and my sister that. How cool of them to sell away the current house and tell me that around end of year we are shifting out, and that we will be shifting over to yishun area. I HATE THIS. I really feel like just going to rent an room myself. I really don’t feel like staying in this ‘house’ at all.

But God, I pray you work something out for me, either hopefully we’ll still stay in NE, or help me soften my heart.. :(

Oh well. Nowadays I really have started becoming a hermit. :(  I want kakis to talk to..

Ahaha, well. maybe it’s really time to break the ‘I WANT’ in me.

Good night! It’s 3:43am and I’ve gotta wake up at 5:30am to go to work.. :S